Today is my birthday; I am beginning my 48th year on earth and I realize how lonely I am.  My friend helped me see how the empty nest syndrome is already affecting me.  I have tried for years to prepare for the time when the kids go off on their own.  I can accept them growing up and beginning their own lives; what I cannot accept is the fact that I have nobody to share this time with.  My husband is not the friend I hoped he would be.  I have tried every way I can think of to build a friendship with him; to create the bonds needed for our future; with no success.  Time and again we end up back at the same place, never moving forward toward any common goal of sharing, loving, respecting each other.  We are, and have been, stuck in a rut for a long, long time.  Reality tells me there is no chance of our situation changing.  I have found myself saying over and over at work, that change is important; that sometimes when we are in a position for a long time we can't see what is needed to improve the situation; that we become comfortable with the way things are.  Funny how I could say and see this at work after making a drastic change myself, but not see it in my life......