It has been many months since I was feeling so alone...  God always has a plan for our lives that we cannot see or even dream of. 
I have been so blessed in every way! When love finds you, it is amazing!
I truly believe I have found my soul mate; someone who loves me for who I am, sees my potential, encourages me at every turn, appreciates me and treats me like the most important person in the world!
Thank you Lord for this incredible new life!

It has been quite some time since posting on my blog.  So many things have changed.  Thank you Lord for bringing my life full circle.  I am now completely dedicated to my new man.  We have been brought together by a God who knows what He is doing; if we will just let Him.  I have never felt the kind of love and care for another as I do now.  I have never been so loved and cared for.  Thank you God for finding the heart I was looking for!  I now understand the kind of love and relationship God put forth for man.
I can only dream and imagine what lies ahead.  For now, I just want to say Thank You Lord for Loving me so much!

Where one door closes, another is opened....  I believe that with all my heart!  Lord, I am looking with eyes wide open for the next open door as I believe there are doors about to close....  So many challenges I have faced with you holding my hand so tightly.  I know you won't let me go.
You have an awesome plan for my life; you are using my life to shine Your light to the people in this world.  For that, I am so grateful!  Continue to use me as a testimony of Your love for Your people...
Help me to take each step forward and smile each moment of the day for You...
You are the light of my life!  Let me not forget....
I love you Lord, with all my heart, soul and mind... Amen.....

I think I must be dreaming.... If so, please don't wake me.
I have seen you work in so many incredible, miraculous ways Lord - never quite like this.
Lead and guide me, show me your will in my life from this point on.  I pray this is the real deal.
I love you Lord, with all my heart and soul!  Thank you for everything you have given me in this life. Amen...

Many challenges I have been faced with regarding my kids.... I reflect upon my own childhood and the memories I have.  Thinking upon the feelings my mom must have gone through, having us away from her....  Life can be so difficult.  What is right for them?  Lord, give me insight and wisdom...
I think about each persons emotional needs as we grow up - how we are treated as children and how it affects us as adults, and I wonder what is the best case scenario....
If only I knew he was level headed and not self centered.  If I knew there was someone there for her to open up to.  I believe she needs the supervision; I don't like to think of her depression.  Lately I have seen her smile more than any other time in her life.  I love seeing that smile! : )
She is so happy.  I want that for her.  I believe it is best to be happy.  Life is too short to feel misery and sadness.
I understand there would be a period of sadness and depression with such a change, but I am afraid he may created this kind of atmosphere.....
Oh Lord... please show me the right thing to do.....  In my heart I believe she should go - but I don't see the timing is now...  Guide and direct me....  This is so very difficult...

If you fail under pressure, your strength is not very great.
     If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small....

Just as damaging as a madman shooting a lethal weapon is someone who lies to a friend and then says, " I was only joking."
    As a madman who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?

From Proverbs 26

When reading this chapter the other morning, I had to reflect on my life these days, and my job...  Lots of pressure; no room to fail...  MUST be strong!!

The second verse that struck me made me reflect on friendship and love... eighteen years and he would regularly say, " I was just kidding...."
I now know the importance of honesty and truth; openness and closeness; friendship and love...
No need to pretend....

Yesterday I posted this picture to my Facebook page with a statement above it saying, " I'm ready to fly..."
Tonight I picked up the book I am reading and found reference to this exact thing....
Chapter 5 - Untie Your Ropes:  "discarding" - getting rid of the things that will hold you back.
The writer of Hebrews put it like this: ....let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
We must discard whatever will hold us down.
We must discard the wrong priorities that keep us from what matters most.
Freedom starts with naming the ropes.
Sometimes our ropes are invisible to us.  Although we resent their limitations, we are secretly glad they relieve us of the burden of freedom and risk.
Sometimes we would rather complain about our ropes than untie them.
Sometimes we hide the real ropes under excuses.
The action you choose, to cut the ropes, has to cost you something.
In order to fly, you must first untie your ropes.....


All of this comes after another two conversations with Rob....  : (

Very strange feeling just came over me..... It is like my "now" self took the hand of my "past" self and pulled it close to me and merged the two together....

Must be time to accept that the past is done and over...  

Time to go forward with my life, knowing all is OK in my eyes as well as the eyes of the Lord.

A peace that passes all understanding........ Ahhhh  What a relief....

I am forgiven.

I have known all along; never felt like this before though. 

Thank you Lord for your AMAZING GRACE!

Shared between my friend Pam and me the other day.....


I feel you are at a serious crossroads. I can see, (in my mind's eye) a battered abused stop sign and you are trying to decide which path/road to take. Pray as I am praying for you....Yes definitely...two paths, and I see one with him and one without him. But whichever way you go, it is yours and you will be good with it. I think this is one of those Godly Divine things...I'm just wide awake and feel the spirit of discernment today. I hope you understand this and don't think I'm a froot-loop.


Today, in thinking on your vision, I am definitely a battered soul - I believe I have been put in a position to "STOP" and reflect on my life in full - to accept and relive some of the painful past; to understand the lessons learned; to see all that lies ahead, and understand how much of life I have not yet lived; I see something I want, something I believe I deserve and can possibly have - but I know right now, I am not ready! I am so thankful for a God who loves and guides me - for a friend who God is working through to show me things I would surely miss! Thanks to you and God for everything!!!


You have sharp eyes to see and finely tuned ears that enable you to interpret the things God shows me. You are for certain being enlightened for something good to come. I love the way God plans ahead, equips us for His use with tools or giftings we don't fully understand. In His mighty powers God could've bypassed me, the simple messenger, and told you directly, or used someone else, but I am honored He chose simple Pam. Thank You Heavenly Father!


Thank you Lord for bringing such wonderful people into my life...  <3

Life can be so interesting.  I am so thankful to know I am not really alone in this journey.  I am constantly talking to God, who knows the outcome of all of this craziness.  Without this communication, I would truly be lost.  Every avenue of my life is in some way a bit crazy at this time.  The lessons I am learning now I won't even realize until someday in the future. When I look back, it will all make perfect sense.
For now, I keep the lines of communication completely open between me and my Heavenly Father; for He knows the desires of my heart, He has my future laid out, He will lead and guide my every step....
Each day that is tough is a day of strengthening.  Each new day is a day to begin again.  When I start to feel defeated, I take a step back and adjust my outlook and attitude and realize nothing needs to beat me down.  I am strong enough to get through all of this!

My emotions run wild these days.  So many trials these days.  The ups, the downs, the spinning all around....

My hope is in you Lord.  The still, small voice within keeps telling me, "Be STILL, and KNOW that I AM GOD...".....
So much easier said than done.  I have resolved to meditate on this verse, night and day - whenever needed to get me through.

I have been on a roller coaster for some time now.  I have so much faith; sometimes it is easy to lose sight of the fact that my help is in the Lord.....

Help me Lord to constantly be reminded that you Love me more than anything - that you will provide all that I need as well as give me the desires of my heart;  in Your perfect timing...

I Love You Lord - Calm me, comfort me and lead me down this path called life.... AMEN!!